A Stinging Desire To Stereotype Oneself

I’m going to admit it here… I fake an accent. A fact that may shock you, but alas… the truth often stings. The first energy drink I’ve ever consumed was this cherry red can of Sting, which I initially thought was a soda back then when I didn’t know what an energy drink was. In my intellectual opinion, the cherry soda taste is good but Red Bull quite frankly does a better job keeping me awake (more on that in another blog)… 7/10☆.

As a proud anti-intellectual Asian boy. I often find myself misguided in direction. In these scenarios I must request assistance from an unknown individual, a “stranger” as the familiars say. But to them, I am both a “stranger” and a “nuisance”. I feel bad being a nuisance to people, so I subtly encourage them to help through their initial perceptions of me.

I make a decision to soften my voice from its naturally hoarse tone. Remarking my fluent English in a Chinese accent. I slur my words not simply because I am shy, but for my temporary benefit. Which in return is an unintended detriment to future generations of people like me.

There is a stereotype in American media that asian men are less masculine than American men. Although I am still just a boy, not a man, I feel like I am spending day and night to craft such status quo, like a worker in a sweatshop.

Even it’s for my personal benefit, I can’t help but wonder what sort of perception it creates about Asian men. Perhaps my personal desire for sympathy points contributes to the view of foreigners as lesser or weaker than the average white American.

However, I won’t deny that I am definitely weaker than the average anybody. But through my purposeful display of a non native English speaker. I fear I unintentionally contribute to that perception of my community.

I think my lack of targeted experiences, has created a boy who’s never felt uncomfortable for being Asian. I know that sounds weird, and isn’t something to necessarily brag about. But I would like to rationalize my ignorance in how my lies will negatively affect others.

I’ve always heard about the dangers of stereotyping people, from individuals with far worse experiences than myself. Yet I’ve never considered how harmful it was for me to be stereotyping myself. Through this harm to my community, maybe I find myself a stranger to it.